The integrity of the league has been compromised!
Posted by Mark Smith – 8 CommentsRumor has it that the integrity of the Bush League has been compromised and that certain players have been associated with the mob. Craig, Clifton, Mark and Kimball have supposedly begun playing “virtual games”. A reliable source, very close to the operation has informed me that these are not real games and stats are just being padded. Of course they tried to make it look like a real game so they put Mark down for a few strikeouts and Craig for a few grounders. Only the players involved know for sure what virtually went on at that virtual field in Texas (allegedly). When asked if they were involved in stat-padding Craig responded, “I don’t want to live in the past, let’s just move forward”. Clifton could only mutter these words, “I donna speaka inglish”. Finally the league found some hope in Mark’s words, “I did not pad stats, PERIOD!” So only time will tell what exactly happened on that allegedly hot, muggy day in July. If no comments are posted we will assume the worst.
A story just breaking in the last few days could rock the stickball world and tarnish the record books forever. If this story proves to be true it would be bigger than Michael Vick and the dog fighting, Tim Donaghy and the gambling, or even Barry Bonds and steroids. It appears that Clifton Labrum and Doug Sabeh are working together to change the league standings. It all started when the Keystones were left off of the Rankings page. An anonymous person left a comment stating “How can the Keystones be in a division, when they can't even make the "Ranking" page of this website?” We are assuming that Mr. Sabeh left this comment and then began communicating with Mr. Labrum. The same Labrum that created the website. Sources very close to both parties believe that money might have exchanged hands for better stats. Last week the ranking page was updated and the Keystones had the best record in the league. Upon further investigation it appears that their record is actually 7 wins and 8 losses, not the 11 and 4 posted on the site. Doug who decided to come clean after working on a plea deal with his lawyers provided the most recent information. He did name names and those players could face suspensions or possibly even a lifetime ban if found guilty of stat fraud. The league will continue their investigation and keep all players informed. Who knows how many other stats have been altered or how many players are involved?
Please cast your vote: (in the comments)
What should happen to Clifton?
A – Nothing
B – One year suspension
C – Lifetime ban
D – Buy a case of balls for the league
E – Play the next game with his shirt off
F – Other (specify)
I'm innocent! I, however, am willing to help the league out, but my contribution is not an admission of guilt.
I vote D.
Oh, and I'll fix the Keystones W-L record.
Okay, I updated the standings. Does everything look right?
I would like to inform the league that I may have made the comment regarding the Keystones not being in the standings, but I was not the one that contacted Clifton to place the Keystones in the Rankings Page. I have an e-mail from the Commissioner himself stating that he did not remember my record and that a record of 11-4 was posted for the Keystones. Upon receiveing this e-mail I sent the Commissioner an e-mail with my correct record. Therefore, I believe that Clifton should be pardon of any wrong doing and that the Commissioner's Office needs to be investigated by the Players Association. As a Player Representative, I would be willing to head up any investigation. My vote is to ask the Commissioner to take a break and allow our Assistant Commissioner Craig pick up the slack and bring the league back to where it was back in 2005. This is my Vote Letter F, which I have specified. I will await other players views.
Since the investigation is ongoing I am unable to make any comment at this time.
I vote for C - the lifetime ban...that way he will stop getting sunburned when we go to Arizona and I can see him more.
Can you say a MOUNTAIN out of a little bitty, tiny itsy, bitsy, microscopic mole hill. I hate to let all of the air out the hype balloon, but it was a type-O . . . a TYPE-OOOOOOOOOO! I know things have been slow this summer with the league and everything, and I know the league wants to be big-time and mimic the big boys i.e. Major League Baseball, the NFL and the NBA, but this is a pure fabrication and completely media-driven. My clients, Douglas Sabeh and Clifton Labrum, have been upstanding members in the Bush League without the slightest blemish on their playing record. They are owed an apology from the league and all charges are to be dropped otherwise Doug will start up a new maverick stickball league and Clifton will take his website and go home! This is not a threat. It is a promise. Now say it with me, "Free Doug and Clifton! FREE Doug and Clifton! FREE DOUG AND CLIFTON!
Those eagle powers were lies, Esteven. Lies! They gave me no special powers. They gave me no nutrients!
I would have to vote for D and F. The only way to pad stats legally is have have new balls so lets do it legal at least. and F i think that it should be required that Chilfton has to play every game that is played whenever he is in town so the true stats will tell. Now that stickball is returning to the Gila valley lets get it on!