September 2007 Archives

The Keystones and Dogs Are In!

Posted by Mark Smith – 5 Comments

With many major league teams clinching playoff spots it is time for two Bush League teams to start spraying the champagne, sparkling cider, IBC Rootbeer or whatever your drink of choice is. The Eastern Division will send the Keystones and the Yard Dogs to the Bush League Championship! This will be the first appearance in the playoffs for the Keystones. They played for the minor league championship a few years back but were unable to finish it off. Since coming out to Arizona earlier this year and racking up the wins they qualified with 7 wins and 8 losses. Although they might not have a winning record they were far better than the two lower teams, the Tigers with a 3-12 record and the Spikes with a 2-9 record. The Yard Dogs will be back in the playoffs for the third straight year and try for their second title in the last three years. They finished the season with a strong record of 10-5. The Dogs will be the home team in the EDCS (Eastern Division Championship Series). The first round of the playoffs will be played the weekend of October the 5th in a quick 2 game series. The higher seed will have to win one game while the lower seed will have to take both games in order to advance to the Championship. If the managers of the Keystones (Doug) and Yard Dogs (Mark) are unable to make the trip out to Arizona they will still manage their teams via cell phone conversations. They will be in charge of choosing their teams, where those players play in the field and what the lineups will be. This should help keep them involved and give their team a chance to win the Series. As commissioner I would like to congratulate both the Yard Dogs and the Keystones on their great season and wish them luck in the Playoffs! We will continue to await the top two teams from the Western Division. Three teams, the Stixs, the Rayz and the Jacks will be fighting for two spots. Good luck to all of the teams in the west as well. If your team did not make the playoffs don’t worry you can still win a championship. We will play all 7 games in the championship series, whoever wins four games will also be awarded a championship. Only one team will be shown as the Champion but all other players with 4 wins will be included on that team. This should encourage every player to play their best in all of the games. Good luck to everyone and welcome to October Stickball!

The Stretch Run

Posted by Craig Smith – 1 Comments

The Stretch Run is upon us and don't it feel good? This is why we play the game! The suspense . . . the drama . . . the glory . . . the passion . . . the agony of defeat . . . and the thrill of victory! Who will hit a "Wire Shot" this season? Who will rob a game winning homerun? And will there be another "Game Five"?

The winds of change are blowing Craig back to the desert from his extended summer vacation in Texas, and Clifton will wander down out of the mountains of Utah be in town in October. A leak from the Office of the High Commissioner say that other Bush Leaguers may join the pilgrimage back the the Mecca of Stickball, the Gila Valley. The stage is being set for a playoff showdown of epic proportions. East versus West! The North and the South! Brother against Brother! The Big Mac versus the Whopper! Boxer or Briefs!

The playoff teams from the Eastern Division have already been determined, but the Office of the High Commissioner has not given authorization to reveal their identity. The West has yet to be determined. It still is basically the Stix vs. the Rayz, but I digress. Home Field Advantage will have new meaning in these playoffs as the managers will be able to choose strategies to give their team an edge. Check back to see the various "advantages" and make sure you are the home team.

This is building up to become the greatest Championship Series ever! So if you have to walk, run, crawl, slide or roll back to the valley; do whatever it takes and DON'T MISS THE PLAYOFFS! Follow all the action with predictions, game-by-game analysis and post-game interviews here at your HOME for the PLAYOFFS . . . SandlotIllustrated.com

The integrity of the league has been compromised!

Posted by Mark Smith – 8 Comments

Rumor has it that the integrity of the Bush League has been compromised and that certain players have been associated with the mob. Craig, Clifton, Mark and Kimball have supposedly begun playing “virtual games”. A reliable source, very close to the operation has informed me that these are not real games and stats are just being padded. Of course they tried to make it look like a real game so they put Mark down for a few strikeouts and Craig for a few grounders. Only the players involved know for sure what virtually went on at that virtual field in Texas (allegedly). When asked if they were involved in stat-padding Craig responded, “I don’t want to live in the past, let’s just move forward”. Clifton could only mutter these words, “I donna speaka inglish”. Finally the league found some hope in Mark’s words, “I did not pad stats, PERIOD!” So only time will tell what exactly happened on that allegedly hot, muggy day in July. If no comments are posted we will assume the worst.

A story just breaking in the last few days could rock the stickball world and tarnish the record books forever. If this story proves to be true it would be bigger than Michael Vick and the dog fighting, Tim Donaghy and the gambling, or even Barry Bonds and steroids. It appears that Clifton Labrum and Doug Sabeh are working together to change the league standings. It all started when the Keystones were left off of the Rankings page. An anonymous person left a comment stating “How can the Keystones be in a division, when they can't even make the "Ranking" page of this website?” We are assuming that Mr. Sabeh left this comment and then began communicating with Mr. Labrum. The same Labrum that created the website. Sources very close to both parties believe that money might have exchanged hands for better stats. Last week the ranking page was updated and the Keystones had the best record in the league. Upon further investigation it appears that their record is actually 7 wins and 8 losses, not the 11 and 4 posted on the site. Doug who decided to come clean after working on a plea deal with his lawyers provided the most recent information. He did name names and those players could face suspensions or possibly even a lifetime ban if found guilty of stat fraud. The league will continue their investigation and keep all players informed. Who knows how many other stats have been altered or how many players are involved?

Please cast your vote: (in the comments)
What should happen to Clifton?
A – Nothing
B – One year suspension
C – Lifetime ban
D – Buy a case of balls for the league
E – Play the next game with his shirt off
F – Other (specify)